Rows and flows of Angel hair, and ice cream castles in the air,
and feather canyons everywhere, I’ve looked at clouds that way.
but now they only block the sun, They rain and snow on everyone,
So many things I would have done, but clouds got in my way……
Joni Mitchell rocks doesn’t she? this song came on the radio this morning as I was driving, not for the first time has music spoke to me in a very loud voice.
It has for want of a better term, been a bit of a week, the absolute horror of the events in Nice reminded us of how fragile and dangerous these times are, if I am honest, I am terrified, I am a Mother, I fear for my children in this world.
I have been laid low with a flu virus, not the end of the world I know, but I suck at being ill, I have no time for it, too much to do etc. I am excellent at doling out advice to others, make time for yourself, learn how to say no etc. and yet I am possibly the worst offender when it comes to my own well-being. Why is that? why do so many of us feel the need to place ourselves in such a low place in the pecking order, that we fail to notice when we are being forced to stop. Just stop, slow the Hell down and just be. So with far too much time on my hands the old grey cells have had a bit of a workout, I do recognize that I have indeed been spreading myself far too thinly, with the best intentions of course, but I need to stop over committing myself and take life as it comes for a while.
Just be. Let go. How does one do that?
Back to Joni Mitchell and the clouds. We all have hopes and dreams, we are to a certain degree, all searching for something, and how many of us have seen those dreams shattered? I have for sure. Life changes, people change, the secret is to roll with it. My dream some years ago was to own my own Vintage shop, which I did, it was lovely, I loved it, it was a happy happy time. For a bit. Actually the reality was, it was a money drain, not my best idea by far, and yet for so long I looked back at that time with rose tinted glasses, so much so that I couldn’t see where I was going. Where am I going? I dont know and I am starting to be OK with that. The times they are a changing, for all of us. Current world events remind us that we are only here for a short while. Live. Do what makes you happy.
Oh but now old friends they’re acting strange, they shake their heads and say I’ve changed,
Well something’s lost, but something’s gained, In living every day.
I’ve looked at life from both sides now, from win and lose and still somehow,
It’s lifes illusions I recall, I really dont know life….at all.
Well said Joni.