The spiritual path is not always an easy one I find,I know that we are born into this life to learn and grow,I accept that not all lessons are easy and our path not always smooth,but Jeez Universe! cut me some slack! My mind at times is like a smashed up lego house!
Ok,so here is the thing….I love what I do,I love all of it,the healing,the people,the places,I am spending time with people who feel like family,I have found my tribe.However…..you knew a ‘however’ was coming right? there is a part of me that is stuck in my past.
My past.Fear not I am not about to reveal anything untoward here,however it is fairly well documented that for many years I ran a Vintage business (yawn) you must be sick of hearing this,but I loved that too! There was absolutely nothing more I loved than tagging along on a house clearance and finding beautiful faded treasures,which I then gave a little TLC and sold on or recycled,whatever your view,to be loved again.But that door closed,in fact for a while all I saw were closed doors.My heart just shut down.And I prayed.I prayed for help, and it came in the form of Reiki,I slowly developed a new way of living which made total sense to me.
I had closed a door.
But lately,I have been in a funk,,I spend way too much time looking for answers that do not come and although I am constantly reminded that when one door closes another opens,here I am again wondering if more closed doors are ahead,yet I cant see an open door.
Today my youngest Daughter and I went vintage browsing,strangely both Daughters have acquired a taste for Vintage life,we cruised around a local house clearance emporium,she picked a few bits and on the way out,I came across a little White cotton and lace Victorian child’s jacket,all crumpled and stained,but for the first time in forever,my heart leapt,it is so beautiful,all hand sewn,I could almost feel the toil and love in every stitch,I feel some Mother a lifetime ago,sat long into the night,perfecting this little Jacket for her beloved child.At once I felt as though a lost love was rekindled in me,but what does this mean?Where am I supposed to be? I don’t know,but what I do realise,is that the reason I was drawn to Vintage life,was that I possess true empathy,A Victorian child’s jacket is just that,linen,lace and thread,but it is the energy and the emotion behind the item that I am drawn to,can my two worlds co exist? do doors have to close in order for other doors to open?Maybe at the moment I am trapped inside revolving doors ,maybe doors don’t have to fully close?