So today I awoke feeling rather blah,no rhyme nor reason for this fit of melancholy and I was cross with myself for giving it room in my life.My body felt heavy and achy,my mind strangely disconnected from myself,more weird dreams had trampled all over me last night and I was sharply awakened at five am by Teddy the naughty yorkie,who needed the toilet.
These crazy days occur now and then.They have not been unfamiliar this past year,unwelcome visitors,I do not want these kind of days. But we all have them dont we? days when we could cheerfully rip our ovaries out and hurl them under oncoming traffic,when we want to turn all the mirrors around to face the wall because we cant bear the look in our own eyes,some days we may even crawl back under the duvet and will ourselves to sleep it all away.
But not today.Life is for living,I will tell anyone who will listen,treasure each day,count your blessings,be grateful.I post numerous positive quotations on facebook affirming these very thoughts.I listen to Louise hay in my car telling me I can heal my life,I love life and life loves me.Really?Maybe today I just needed a day off.
And so it begins,this day,as with most days,I set the scene with Aromatherapy oils,firstly a lime and geranium shower to wake me up,basil,mandarin and marjoram in the burner to stop my thoughts from careering out of control.I make coffee,delicious coffee.I pick up my journal and pen and I set down my intentions in writing,to spirit,to the universe to my angels,help me,lift my spirits,take away this negative mindset,it does not belong to me.
The day carries on,it is still the school holidays,Lucy’s constant chatter is a happy distraction,we watch a movie together and for the umpteenth time discuss the sorry state of affairs that is the recent engagement of Zayne from one direction.
Soon everyday tasks are completed,something simple prepared for dinner later,I wander around the garden and realize my day has turned around,I have after all recovered from being hit by a grumpy stick!
And now it is evening,candles are lit,I am now burning Lavender,ylang ylang and rose in the hope of a peaceful nights sleep,soon I shall retire to my boudoir with my beloved kindle and silently give thanks for another day.
All is well.
Love after love….
The time will come when,with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving at your own door,
in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the others welcome,
And say,sit here,eat.
You will love again the stranger who was yourself.
Give wine.Give bread.Give back your heart to itself,
to the stranger who has loved you all your life,
whom you ignored for another,who knows you by heart.
Take down the letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs,the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror,
Sit.Feast on your life.
By Derek Walcott.
Today has been quite the laziest of days,I awoke early after a restless night,to the sound of rain bouncing off the windows,there is something slightly indulgent about lying in bed listening to the rain methinks,these then are the last days of Summer,to be lingered over before all too quickly Autumn arrives resplendent and glorious and golden.
This has been a strange summer for me,a season filled with much soul searching,probing gently into corners of my mind that previously I was afraid to visit,slowly,slowly these days have been,quiet and soft and lemony coloured.I have found myself to be slightly reclusive at times,finding peace in my own back yard and comfort in my kitchen.I have formed a slight obsession with chicken and pesto salad and a penchant for prosecco sipped from a champagne glass,I have fallen madly insanely in love….with my kindle fire! who knew? I am devouring books at a rate of knots!
But I digress! back to today….a day of being indoors with my Daughter Lucy who at fourteen does not yet appreciate the luxury of a day spent doing not much,reading,eating home made cake and drinking coffee,burning lavender,mandarin and marjoram oils to sooth my soul.
It is early evening now and the rain is back,a small furry dog has taken up residence on my lap,another lies sleeping by my side.Bliss.I am reminded that even in the rainiest of days…..there is always something to be thankful for.